What Do You Call This? Like? Love? Confusion?

It's like you don't get it. I don't think you understand how much I want you and care about you. It's so hard knowing I'll never actually be with you. Every night all I can think about is what it would be like to be with you or to be holding your hand whenever I felt like it. I want to call you mine but I can't. This is what I was afraid of...slowly falling for everything about you. You say enjoy what we have, and I do, I just don't want to fall anymore unless I know you're going to be here to catch me. You're the reason for my happiness, my smiled and my laughter. You're the reason I am starting to trust again. I just don't want to be making another mistake by letting a guy in and him just breaking me apart again. I want you to be in it for me not the stuff you get out of it.