Why You Gotta Bring Me Down?

You always said you would be there for me no matter what, so why are you letting some girl take over our friendship? I must mean that little to you if you're going to let something so silly ruin our friendship. Believing lies and calling me names is NOT a way to stay my friend. It breaks my heart knowing I'm losing you. I wish you would wake up and realize I'm not the same person, and I never will go back to the old me. I deserve to be happy and if being happy means staying away from you, then I guess that is what I will have to do. I really don't want to but you keep pushing me away. Save us both some pain and tell me if you want me in your life or not. Take me as I am or not at all. </3

Live YOUR Life

It always will get better, today may be tough but that only makes you stronger. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough. You are amazing just the way you are. Be proud of who you are. Don't be ashamed because of your hair color or skin color. You are you and if people don't except that, you don't need them in your life. You should never change yourself for someone, no matter what. "They don't understand the life that you choose, they never walked a mile in your shoes" "Whatcha gonna do with the haters, just gonna excuse their behavior." -Todrick Hall "I've been walked on, used and forgotten and I don't regret one moment of it because in those moments, I've learned a lot. I've learned who I can trust and can't. I've learned the meaning of friendship. I've learned how to tell when people are lying and when they're sincere. I've learned how to be a teenager, and how to grow up when I need to. I've been to hell and back a few times, and I won't ever take what I have for granted. This is life, live it one day at a time. You never know how many days you've got left."

Goodbye

I really never thought the saying "Goodbye" would ever come out of my mouth when it came to you. I tried trusting you and giving you more chances but every time I gave you another chance, you just threw it away. I truly miss how everything was, how we used to be. I guess the saying of "everyone changes" is true but I didn't think that it would change us. On the outside I might look like an almighty girl who can get through anything, but really, on the inside I'm falling apart faster than I can fix myself. Every time I see you, I want to give you and hug and be all happy with you again but you just blow me off. Sometimes I feel like trusting you was a big mistake. I've learned that I let you take advantage of me and I've learned to make you one of those people who aren't worth crying over and is not worth any of my time. "There comes a time in life when you have to figure out who is worth having in your life and who isn't." and you are definitely not worth having in my life anymore. Sometimes I guess it takes a couple of mistakes to realize what is really important and what kind of people you need to pay attention to. I really wish things were different. Saying goodbye is the only choice you have left me with.

All I Wanted

I thought I could trust more people. I thought you were someone I could trust, someone that would always have my back. The thought of not having you by my side kills me but I just can't trust you anymore. I thought fersure you'd always be by my side but as the days went on you kept breaking that trust. I just wish I could go back to the days of believing everyone and trusting everyone, that day will never come though. It's all gone, it's over, there's nothing I can do to be a better person. I tried changing for you but it didn't work out. I am who I am and I'm tired of trying to be someone else for you. I just miss how everything used to be so easy and I didn't cry unless I was hurt or I missed my mom. Why can't this be easy? Why does it keep getting harder and harder and my life get worse and worse? I don't regret having you in my life because I do believe everything happens for a reason. I just don't know what to do anymore, I thought everything was perfect and then, all at once, it fell apart.  (and no i don't care if this doesn't make sense cause to me it does)

Was It Worth It?

Do you like making people feel like they aren’t good enough for you? Like they will never fit in or they will never get far in life because they aren’t like you? Well guess what, I’m sick and tired of having to deal with you guys. Sure I am not perfect or someone like you, but I am me and that’s all I will ever be. I’m not going to pretend to be someone so we can be friends. For quite some time now I have truly tried to listen to you and be there for you, and make it so I can trust you. Lately, you have made all that very hard. I tell you something and you go tell everyone something that I didn’t even truly say, YOU make it a bigger deal. I thought you were a better person and wouldn’t let someone get in the way of our friendship but I guess I was wrong. You let people push YOU around and now you aren’t friends with me. After all that we have been through, you choose them. Well I hate to tell you but I’m done with trying to maybe have you or waiting for you cause hunny, I’m done waiting for you. Next time you look behind you, in front of you or behind you, I won’t be there. I’m tired of waiting for you to come back to me. I never thought there would be a time we’d have to say goodbye. I’ve tried holding on for as long as I can and I’m not strong enough anymore. It’s time for me to let you go once and for all. After this, no turning back. I hope you’re happy now. It hurts me to do this, but you brought it on yourself and in the end it’ll hurt you more than it has hurt me. So no farewells or see ya later, you get a GOODBYE. 

I Miss You.

Is it possible to miss something you kind of still have? I thought fersure that I would have you until the end of high school. You have drifted away from me and you don't even act like my friend anymore. Yeah sure we talk here and there but if we had to put a label on it, we are just acquaintances. I miss what we had, what we used to be. It hurts me seeing you every day and knowing you aren't my best friend anymore. I wish you could open your eyes and see what you have done, what damage you have caused with other people. I guess what I'm saying is I miss you and I want you back, but if you keep this up, you've lost me.

Runaway Or Not?

Sometimes I see myself running,

Running to a strange place.

Why am I running?

Because life is too much to handle.

Sometimes it's impossible to get away from.

I wish I could close my eyes and everything would be better.

I want to be the person YOU want,

I feel like I try but you never see that side of me, 

The side you want.

I have made mistakes in my life,

But at least I'm alive..right?

I'm not the only one that messes up,

But sometimes it feels like I am. 

When I mess up,

All I want to do it run,

Run as far as I can,

So no one can find me.

People mess up all the time.

If I run, the problems will be waiting for me.

I have to except what I've done, 

Whether it is good or bad.

Most of the time bad,

But that's life.

I don't regret messing up,

I think it's made me that much stronger. 

Instead of running,

I'm going to sit back,

Ride my roller coaster.

And take life as it is. 

Pathetic

3 words for you hunny,
YOU ARE PATHETIC(:

Sometimes I Need Space

I’ll get through anything whether I like it or not, I’d just like to know I have people here to help...even if I'm not ready to say what i need to or what is wrong. I just need to know I have people who are going to be here whether they know what's up or not. Right now I don't really have a lot of those people. Well people I can actually trust. sometimes I just get tired of being sad and stressed all the time, with both of those combined I feel like I’m about to die and I just can't take it and knowing I have someone or people there that will just give me hugs no questions asked makes it easier for me. People say they understand but truly, no one can understand anyone’s life because everyone is so different and their lives are definitely not the same and/or easy. I love my friends and would die without them, but sometimes all I need is space and sometimes I feel like I can't get that. All I need is to have some time to myself. so do me a favor, be the friend who is there for me whether you know what's wrong or not, be there to hug me, love me and care about me. <3

Ignore Me.

Go ahead and ignore me. Give me dirty looks when I ain't looking. If you think it's going to bother me, you're dreaming. If you hate me don't pretend like you like me and don't talk about me or my friends. You aren't going to make me sad if you don't talk to me. I truly think you and your 'people' need help. Kayso leave me and my friends alone.

I Know I'm Not Perfect.

I know I'm not perfect, but at the end of the day who is? I do believe that everyone makes mistakes in their life. Sometimes they are definitely not the best ones, but that is why they are called mistakes. I did something I didn't mean to do, and truly I do not remember doing what I did. Don't hate on me because of what I did. If you can't handle what I did, DON'T be my friend. Friends are there for you no matter what you do/did. Just know, I will NEVER tell you anything about me again and don't expect me to respect you cause you WILL NOT get it. When a teenager does something they know they shouldn't do because it's illegal or maybe because it's just not right, let them do it so they can learn their lesson. I might only be 16 but i have done things in my life that are wrong and I know they are but that's all part of life, so get off my back and go find your own life. Not everyone is perfect, that's why being yourself and making your own decisions is better than someone telling you how to live your life. Go ahead and be a teenager, make mistakes and live life the way you want to because it's your life, no one else's but your own. Even if you think you should regret what you do, you should never regret it because it made you who you are and that's all that matters. As long as you aren't fake and you are yourself don't regret one thing. Especially if it made you smile or helped someone. If I could go back and redo the weekend, I would only change one thing, but that doesn't mean I regret it. Main point is, don't let anyone tell you how to live your life and DO NOT regret anything you have ever done, even if it hurt someone. I don't care if this doesn't make sense to you, because to me it does and that's all that matters. So please just be yourself, make your own decisions, don't regret anything and you will be alright, even if it isn't okay at the time.