I'm Lost.

I want to feel happy, I feel it coming but I honestly don't want to because knowing my luck right when I get happy, something will happen and I will be brokenhearted...again. I want to be with you, but I'm scared to. You're older than I am, so different than me but I can't help but want to be with you regardless of what anyone says. I just wish there was a way we could actually be together and be happy. I don't want to lose you, especially as a friend. My heart skips a beat every time I see you, I'm always so nervous and never know what to say. You're so different, but that's what makes me attracted to you. I don't know what to do, I'm stuck in a little hole and if I go too far I'll end up getting hurt but if I don't move, nothing will happen.