Life, Why Is It So...Ugh??

You don't even know how much this hurts me. I just don't know what else to do. It sucks when you want to do something so bad but you're scared and when you try to explain you feel so pathetic and weak. I wish I could just say "I want to be with him" and I'd be there but life doesn't work that way. It takes courage to do what we want to do and when I can't do one simple thing it makes me feel even more pathetic. And what makes me feel even more pathetic is saying all this stuff like what I want to do and blah blah blah, I don't want to come across as a person that's all talk, cause I'm not. When I say I want something I'll get it if I work hard enough and when I say I want to do something I'll end up doing it eventually. Patience is going to play a big role in this, and trust and believing. I JUST WISH I COULD FOLLOW YOU HOME ONE DAY AND SPEND THE REST OF THE DAY AND NIGHT WITH YOU. Being in your arms would mean the world to me. Why do I have to be so scared? All I want is for you to be happy, happy with me, happy with what what we have. I want you to be afraid of losing me, cause I know I don't want to lose you. I hope you aren't mad or hurt by this.